Deuterium Depleted Water and Tales

So, the water is H2O. And the H can be:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deuterium
or
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrogen-1
or
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritium
If you drink H2O where H2 is two atoms of Protium ("light water") you are very:
1. healthy,
2. happy/lucky,
3. rich (maybe famous). Because "light water" is sooo expensive.
But more likely you drink ordinary water from filter. And there are Deuterium and Tritium inside. So, beware.
A lot of Deuterium inside gives "heavy water". It can be naturally found in oasis lakes (deserts etc.). Many slavoniс tales believe that "death water" ("heavy water") can speed up curing of any wounds. So, many modern studies show that "heavy water" suppresses DNA reparation and enhances the proliferation of cells. So, cells grow faster and healing of wounds increases. Tales are not so stupid.
The "light water". Tales believe it can cures all diseases and extends life. And more over "light water" can revive corpse back to live. Wooh. Modern studies show that normal cells in "light water" grow without DNA and RNA disruptions and cancer cells don't grow in this water and die. So, "light water" speeds up reparation meсhanism and kills cancer cells. Thus the lifetime grows.
So, if you are a corpse -- someone should shower you with "heavy water" (to cure all the wounds) and then shower with "light water" (to bring you back to life). "Light water" can be naturally found in highlands glaciers (that deep blue colored ice -- this is deuterium depleted water, "light water").

Awesome.